You asked me if i was breathing.
"No", I said, but you didn't care.
Looking at you feels like an anecdote for life; the one thing I absolutely need, but with a twist thats unpleasant and would leave anyone begging for an alternate option.
You asked again.
"No".
My lungs don't work and tiny spears pierce my chest, lungs, legs, everything.
You said that she was the first person you ever took on a date. I wonder to myself if those 3 years were a waste. Those times we sat over a meal. Those times I complained that you never took me anywhere. It all makes sense to me.
I know I dont want you and I never have, I just wanted someone.
I know I'll never meet that person I think of. The one that cares for me beyond all else. Its the only thing that keeps me alive at the moment, this thought of the person that will save me. They're a blur of dark features and a strong build. I picture them looking at me and know that it will never happen.
I wonder if a soul can be so completely, utterly alone.

Untitled.

Its nights like this that I know Im never going to get to sleep.
My heart is throbbing and my lungs are burning. There is a pain in my stomach that makes me want to buckle to my knees.
Sometimes I wonder if you can die from a broken heart, or does it keep beating until it starts pumping dust and I am grey?

The List.

Tonight I'm going to write a list of all my problems. I will then write what I percieve to be the remedy for my problems, and work out how to fix them. The list will be a little too raw and 'bare-all' for the intenet. Also, I think I'll get more enjoyment in hiding it under my bed and crossing out my worries, so I will write on my lists progress regularly.