2000-and-something

It's 2:38 pm on the 31st of December, 2009. My nostaligic complex has begun to set in and it's making me uncomfortable. I'm squirming in my seat as I write this. The clouds are moving too fast and the shapes they're making remind me of the past year. A puff of substance and then the year was gone. For some reason I always get like this at the end of the year. Ever since I was 10 I have had the insatiable urge to write down my memories from the past year and what I'd like to improve on. 9 years later and I'm thinking of giving up this tradition as it's done me no good to dwell on the past, but my head thinks otherwise so I'll write down some goals for next year. I guess if I'm going to start anywhere it would be to suck it up and forget about it/improve it if it can be improved. This goes for all things: life, health, relationships with others, health being my main priority. I'd like to stop socially smoking and drink less alcohol. Financially, next year I'd like to improve on the amount of money I saved this year and save an additional $8,000 to go towards my travels at the end of my degree/start of my new life. Next year I'd like to take more film photos, or at least have hard copies of my photos. Being able to hold a memory in my hand is far more soothing and refreshing than flicking through pixels on a website. Sophie suggested I write more, which I'd like to do. Perhaps more short stories, though, and less diary like brain explosions. I'd like to learn more about my degree and get more involved, instead of nagging about the keen beans that always seem to know everything. This year I will be a keen bean. I want to learn more about the world, see more of the world and be more involved with gaining knowledge, especially when it can help my career as a teacher. Finally, I'd like to surround myself with my friends and family. The ones that truly mean something, that aren't just there to go out and party with, but the ones that give me reason to trust them. Next year I'd like to take control of all the small things that bug me and turn them into something positive. Stop letting myself get angry for the acts of others. Think positive. Think positive. Think positive.

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Ugh. My heart is such an idiot.